Transitioning again...again

I'm all moved into my apartment! That makes FIVE, count 'em, FIVE moves in the last year. A more adventurous person might say that with pride, but I confess my statement is birthed out of exasperation for the upheaval and relief that I won't have to move again until May.

The room looks fabulous, all thanks to the wonderful Hannah Kate. Here's how the room revamp turned out (she painted the wall art and hung the decorations):

The paper is not done, and in a meeting with my adviser today, I was reminded that this wasn't one of those "finish and move on" projects. It's more of a "forever and always" kind of deal. Still, the first draft is slowly wrapping up, and I am pleased with where it started, went, and landed.

The fridge is full of groceries. I battled a mango this afternoon for smoothies this week. All four of us are moved in and slowly settling into our spaces. Friends whom I haven't seen since December are all coming back to town. Classes start on Wednesday, so we're all the kind of busy that isn't actually busy - it's just frantic anticipation of actual busyness. 

It's been a wild year. I've lived in two countries. I wrote the longest paper I have written so far in my academic career. I decided to start teaching again.

And it's going to be another wild one. So for now, I'm enjoying these couple of slow days, the prospect of a three class semester, and an evening of kitchen organizing and red lentil cooking adventures.

First Kroger Adventure

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store to purchase lentils. I was eventually successful, though it involved dragging JP all through the new Kroger on a legume search, and a permanent ban of discussion of human anatomy in grocery stores.

I was spoiled last term by a tiny, local, organic health food store in town. The store was small, and felt a little bit like walking into the store shed of an extreme couponer who shopped exclusively at Whole Foods. The owner was spectacular, friendly, and as far as I could tell, didn't dislike Americans. He packaged the grains and legumes he sold, and sold them all for wonderfully low, reasonable prices. In fact, it was all so reasonable and easily navigated that I grabbed a package of chocolate covered mango slices (right underneath the grains) because I was in such a good mood.

The new Kroger, though it's well-stocked and clean, was another chapter in my rapidly expanding tales of "awkward reentry to America."

In the South, grocery shopping is an opportunity for social interaction. When you inevitably run into someone you know, you are obligated, by some ridiculous unspoken rule, to have a conversation. Strangers are also fair game. I'd forgotten that rule until people started jumping into conversations JP and I were having about Lucky Charms and his remarks on the sensual nature of hotdogs. The hotdog comment resulted in the permanent ban on any observation involving human anatomy in food-related venues.

After the stranger interruptions and well-deserved judgmental glances, I started to book it through my shopping list. It took me five minutes to find lentils, and ten minutes to get them from the "dry goods self-service" apparatus. As I was putting the bag of red lentils into my basket, JP grabbed it, and broke the human anatomy rule: "It looks like a butt. No seriously, Kenna. Look. It's a butt."

It took two cashiers to ring up my groceries. I smiled pleasantly at them both as I explained what lentils were and where they might be found on the price checker. I held it together for the ten minutes it took them to find it, ring it up, and give me a total. It was all weirdly stressful, but mostly comical.

I posted less than a month ago about my excitement for returning to the states because of bigger emotions and people who are more forward about...everything. The generally more reserved nature of the UK rubbed off on me a little more than I thought.

On the upside from yesterday's awkward outing, I keep catching JP with a grin on his face - he is still very pleased with his bag of lentils/butt joke.

Milkshake Menus and Sass

In my head, it's been much longer than two weeks since I wrote here last. But in the last two weeks, I've been to Edinburgh and back, through the Highlands, in Aberdeen to say goodbyes, to London, Phoenix for a few days, Tucson for a visit, and finally to Memphis (of course, with a stop in Atlanta).

That's 4 time zones, and 6 different cities/towns (8 if you count the crazy layovers)! It was 54 degrees when I left Aberdeen, and 108 when I landed in Phoenix that evening. Yikes.

But I made it home! The weather in Memphis has been, thankfully, wonderful. We've had good summer rain, the screened porch at my aunt and uncle's has been cool, and even in the warmest hours, I'm just glad to not be cold anymore.

I went back to church on Sunday, have seen friends all over town, met people for coffee, and did a load of laundry. Laundry and grocery shopping are my two "officially settled" activities, so this time tomorrow, I will hopefully be settled (and eating lentils).

In the chaos of packing, unpacking, repacking, and unpacking again, I admit that I'm missing the simplicity of my routine in Scotland. I only needed to know two bus routes, shopped on one street, ate at one cafe, and had tea at another. The river was a two minute walk from my front door, I usually sat on the same bench until sunset, and could walk ten minutes up the hill to sit in the botanic gardens. People were quieter. Even their dogs were more reserved. My phone never, ever rang. Emails could wait until tomorrow, or next week, or for never. Usually the latter.

I drove into Sonic last week with Steph. The milkshake menu must have had at least 30 choices. Just the milkshakes - which are somehow different from the cream drinks and the regular drink menu, and included a bacon and peanut butter shake. I will say, even though this semester had some rough moments, coming back to so much noise and 200 cereal options and 12 different kinds of Oreos has been a good reminder of why I went somewhere else to unwind and rest.

So tomorrow, after a week of craziness and settling, of overwhelming cookie purchasing adventures, and summer clothes ironing, I'm ready to get back to lentils, river walking, and quiet. It'll just be the Memphis edition - in the words of JP, "More Memphis, like more ghetto. More sass." Lentils are the least sassy things I can think of, but if there were ever a city to draw sass out of nowhere, it's this one.

Countdown to Hometurf: Balancing Acts

Sometime in the middle of the university exam period, as I settled into my study nest (complete with chocolate and hot tea), and had this wonderful realization: I am happiest when I'm at my desk, reading, learning and writing. Every once in a while I would get up from my desk and walk through Seaton Park. I took a break to put a pot of quinoa on the stove, take out the trash, vacuum, or change over a load of laundry.

With each break and study page, I had this growing feeling of rest, and a deepening sense that I was slipping into a healthy, sweet rhythm of working and breathing.

The messy balancing act of work and rest has been one of my greatest personal struggles. Honestly, I came to Scotland to figure it out. Why I thought changing countries would help me figure out how to manage stress and balance rest with work is still a mystery to me, but at the end of this 5+ month process, I can finally say that I've found some sort of balance.

The secret? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it out. But it certainly helps that I love the "work" part as much as I love the resting.

I confess that though I'm entering this summer with a great deal of excitement, I'm also walking in with a lot of uneasiness and a little bit of fear. I'm new to this research game, and I haven't exactly chosen to start small. Throughout this term I've flirted with it, shuffling through old notes, jotting down new ones, and reading in short spurts. Last week after exams, and this week in Edinburgh, I sat down to seriously look at what I have so far, and as I separated the pieces into sections, I began to feel genuine excitement for this project.

But I'm just as excited for my Memphis summer balancing act "resting" pieces: yoga, coffee dates, walks by the River, Shelby Farms, and Overton Park, cooking nights with friends, farmers market wandering, and feeding this growing love affair with blues music.

See you in a week, Memphis.

Claiming a Vacation

I came to Aberdeen with some goals. I won't bore you with the list, but I do want to mention one of the important ones before this term comes to a close.

Resting is something I have been historically really terrible at doing. Last year, I finally began to seek out space to rest. That process (and it was a process) to seeking restful space unearthed a new problem: once I was in that space, I didn't know how to engage with it.

I've done a lot of thinking and writing around how I occupy the different spaces in my life, how I live and move and am in church or coffee shops, in monasteries, at conferences, in the classroom, in Scottsdale, and walking through the inner-city. I've started paying more attention to liminal space - those in between places - and how much that I not only need to be more present in them, but how I need them in order to be present in other spaces.

With all of those different spaces filling up my life, I wonder even more how to rest in them. Especially in ministry contexts, resting seems to be something we talk about constantly, something worth investing in, worth working at, and seeking out. And yet, I found last year that I don't know how to rest. Not really. It turns out resting is more active than I'd been lead to believe, and it's not just about sitting still - though I admit that I can't even do that well.

Looking ahead to this summer, next fall, and beyond, I realized that the time between Friday (tomorrow) and the Friday a week later (the day before I leave for PHX) is the most substantial amount of time I have carved out with nothing planned for a while.

I have claimed it as vacation time, resting time. Time for not answering emails or making phone calls. Time for jumping on a train through the Highlands because I can and because it's beautiful. Time for myself alone, and for myself with a good friend. Time for thinking and breathing, for hiking and sleeping, for eating good food. For actively seeking out things that bring me joy and renewal. For resting.

Check back for pictures next week, and I'll see many of you on the other side of this week!

Countdown to Hometurf: EMOTIONS

There are three glaring exceptions to what I'm about to claim about the general population of Scotland: angry, male bus drivers in Aberdeen, inebriated bachelorette parties confined to trains, and soccer fans during, and directly after a match.

Other than that, most of the people here are extremely emotionally reserved. I'm becoming more and more convinced that liberation theology hasn't made it to Aberdeen because it involves too many feelings for life here.

This afternoon as I was stepping out onto High Street, I nearly ran into one of the university chaplains. "McKenna! You look really bright, and happy, especially for a student in the middle of exams." If I'd been in America, I would have said something like, "Thank you! It's because you're looking at a final exams champion...I totally killed my doctrine final. It was AWESOME. How are you doing?"

But I'm here, so I said, "Oh thank you. I've enjoyed my last couple exams. You look very well too." I also recently accidentally frightened a Scottish friend with my excitement about eating Mexican food in a couple weeks. She told me to calm down. Since then, I've been trying really hard to be exceptionally low-key and boring. As a result, emotions have been exploding out of me - I laughed so hard I almost cried during a meeting, and I'm completely anticipating tears the first time I eat Mexican food back in the states.

In light of all that, I want to introduce you to Jake the Dog:

Jumping against the back door of my aunt and uncle's house is usually where you'll find him, as excitement over a squirrel sighting overwhelms his tiny body. Don't let his size fool you. He is not a lap dog, and is the opposite of mellow. The only time he's allowed me to hold him was in the vet's office, and I suspect that it was because he thought being in my arms would protect him from shots and ear drops. He is an avid squirrel and bird chaser, and would never abandon a chase - not even for a cheerio. He's tiny, but everything he does is big - his barking, chasing, and his impressive ability to occupy half of a couch when lounging. 

Several times this semester, I've wanted to stand up and yell, "CARE. SHOW EMOTION" in the middle of a debate or discussion, or on the hundredth day of misting rain - because the rain here is as timid and reserved as the people. The South is king of passive-aggression, but debate can still get heated,  people get angry, cry, and exhibit real joy when they feel it. 

Jake the Dog is just one of many non-mellow things I'm looking forward to with excitement (though not too much excitement - I don't want to scare anyone here again).

Two weeks until Memphis!

Cathedrals and Walking Trails

It's been a busy week! I took my first exam this morning in a hall with 300 other students. It was a strange experience - one I'll have three more times next week, but hopefully never again after that.

I took a break from studying on Monday to take the train to Elgin with a friend. It's a small town about an hour and half north of Aberdeen and home to the ruins of what used to be the second largest cathedral in Scotland. This building was just not meant to stand. There was a fire, then a crazy prince (whose nickname involves "Wolf" and lives on in stories about his legendary chess game with Satan...nice guy, right?) demolished it, and then the Reformation dealt the last blow.

I guess after three major architecture catastrophes, the diocese forfeited. And by the time it was wrecked the last time, Reformed theology had seeped into Scotland, so there wasn't much use for it ruined or not. 

And here are a couple pictures I took while walking the trails around my apartment. Spring came just in time for June! That being said, I had to break out my winter jacket today...