Yesterday, I went to the grocery store to purchase lentils. I was eventually successful, though it involved dragging JP all through the new Kroger on a legume search, and a permanent ban of discussion of human anatomy in grocery stores.
I was spoiled last term by a tiny, local, organic health food store in town. The store was small, and felt a little bit like walking into the store shed of an extreme couponer who shopped exclusively at Whole Foods. The owner was spectacular, friendly, and as far as I could tell, didn't dislike Americans. He packaged the grains and legumes he sold, and sold them all for wonderfully low, reasonable prices. In fact, it was all so reasonable and easily navigated that I grabbed a package of chocolate covered mango slices (right underneath the grains) because I was in such a good mood.
The new Kroger, though it's well-stocked and clean, was another chapter in my rapidly expanding tales of "awkward reentry to America."
In the South, grocery shopping is an opportunity for social interaction. When you inevitably run into someone you know, you are obligated, by some ridiculous unspoken rule, to have a conversation. Strangers are also fair game. I'd forgotten that rule until people started jumping into conversations JP and I were having about Lucky Charms and his remarks on the sensual nature of hotdogs. The hotdog comment resulted in the permanent ban on any observation involving human anatomy in food-related venues.
After the stranger interruptions and well-deserved judgmental glances, I started to book it through my shopping list. It took me five minutes to find lentils, and ten minutes to get them from the "dry goods self-service" apparatus. As I was putting the bag of red lentils into my basket, JP grabbed it, and broke the human anatomy rule: "It looks like a butt. No seriously, Kenna. Look. It's a butt."
It took two cashiers to ring up my groceries. I smiled pleasantly at them both as I explained what lentils were and where they might be found on the price checker. I held it together for the ten minutes it took them to find it, ring it up, and give me a total. It was all weirdly stressful, but mostly comical.
I posted less than a month ago about my excitement for returning to the states because of bigger emotions and people who are more forward about...everything. The generally more reserved nature of the UK rubbed off on me a little more than I thought.
On the upside from yesterday's awkward outing, I keep catching JP with a grin on his face - he is still very pleased with his bag of lentils/butt joke.
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